I started my homeschooling adventure 8 years ago. But, I was actually running from God on the issue much longer than that. When my first child was two, I ordered Abeka learning curriculum and worked with him at home every day. I still at this time had no idea I would really actually do this long term one day. When he turned five I put him in Shiloh Mennonite School. I was actually his volunteer kindergarten teacher! (had no idea what I was doing) He stayed here until 2nd grade. I was noticing that he wasn’t learning what he should be especially in math, so I took him to a public school to have him tested. Turns out, I was right. He was held back to the first grade. During all this time though God was pulling on my heart to homeschool, sadly I was hard-headed and felt I was not capable. Time passed and Zackary went on to the 3rd grade and now I had a second child starting kindergarten. Every day was a stab in the heart, dropping them off at school. I would go home and count down the minutes until time to pick them up. Zackary had so much homework that I felt like I was the one teaching him. I can still remember sitting there teaching him place value. No discredit to the teacher though, I did love them very much but they only have so much time to spend on each child. As always though the year flew by and it was over in no time.
The first day of school dreadfully came and Zackary was starting 4th grade and Bryson 1st grade. Bryson cried everyday I dropped him off. Something in my heart this year was pulling on me like I can’t even describe. Then, crazy enough at church in the nursery I found a choice homeschool flyer. It was then that I found a group that I knew would help me get started. So I talked to some people and bought a curriculum and only 2 weeks into the school year I took them out of school. And had an awesome school year!!! Hahahahahaha NOT! In 2 days time, I put them back in school!! I was so overwhelmed at the work, the time, the discipline of making them sit there and do all that work all the while taking care of 2 more babies. And the most scary part was taking their education all on myself! What if I failed, what if I ruined their future. All the what-ifs daunted me like a plague. I’m sure by reading this you can already tell I’m not the smartest apple on the tree. (having to look up how to spell half of all the words) Lol. Anyway, the next day as I sat there looking at all their school books just sitting there and my babies were not! I felt this overwhelming feeling that this is where my babies belong. So I went back to school and told them I was taking my boys back out (again) to homeschool. I knew there was no turning back! Phew, and let me tell you that first year was tough! We learned together many, many, many things.
So, fast forward to the present. I still 8 years later feel so inadequate. I am teaching 6 with my 7th running around waiting her turn for attention. I am a clean freak so I’m constantly stressing about that. I am always worrying about if they are smart enough. But I was told a long time ago that God will not call you to more than you can handle. (He sure took me to the brink) This year however I have seen God show me to trust him through my worries and doubts. Zackary dual-enrolled into Piedmont Tech. and I was so worried about the entrance exam. But thank God he did very well and is also making good grades in his mechatronics class. So I am still learning to trust through my weakness and inability that God is stronger and he has a plan for all my precious kiddos. Hope this was a blessing to you all.<3
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